Junie B. Jones #1: Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus

Illustrated by Denise Brunkus
“Hilarious. Barbara Park makes reading fun.” —Dav Pilkey, author of Dog Man
 
Barbara Park’s #1 New York Times bestselling chapter book series, Junie B. Jones, has been keeping kids laughing—and reading—for more than twenty-five years. Over 65 million copies sold!
 
Meet the World’s Funniest Kindergartner—Junie B. Jones! Remember when it was scary to go to school? In the first Junie B. Jones book, it’s Junie B.’s first day and she doesn’t know anything. She’s so scared of the school bus and the meanies on it that when it’s time to go home, she doesn’t.
 
USA Today:
“Junie B. is the darling of the young-reader set.”
 
Publishers Weekly:
“Park convinces beginning readers that Junie B.—and reading—are lots of fun.”
 
Kirkus Reviews:
“Junie’s swarms of young fans will continue to delight in her unique take on the world. . . . A hilarious, first-rate read-aloud.”
 
Time:
“Junie B. Jones is a feisty six-year-old with an endearing penchant for honesty.”
Chapter 3: The Stupid Smelly Bus

The bus wasn't like my daddy's car at all. It was very big inside. And the seats didn't have any cloth on them.

The little curly girl was sitting near the front. And so I  tapped on her.

"Guess what?" I said. "Mother said for me to sit here."

"No!" she said. "I'm saving this seat for my best friend, Mary Ruth Marble!"

Then she put her little white purse on the place where I was going to sit.

And so I made a face at her.

"Hurry up and find a seat, young lady," said Mr. Woo.

And so I quick sat down across from the curly mean girl. And Mr. Woo shut the door.

It wasn't a regular kind of door, though. It folded in half. And when it closed, it made a whishy sound.

I don't like that kind of door. If it closes on you by accident, it will cut you in half, and you will make a squishy sound.

The bus made a big roar. Then a big puff of black smelly smoke came out the back end of it. It's called bus breath, I think.

Mr. Woo drove for a while. Then the brakes made that loud, screechy noise again. I covered my ears so it couldn't get inside my head. 'Cause if loud, screechy noises get inside your head, you have to take an aspirin. I saw that on a TV commercial.

Then the bus door opened again. And a dad and a boy with a grouchy face got on.

The dad smiled. Then he plopped the grouchy boy right next to me.

"This is Jim," he said. "I'm afraid Jim isn't too happy this afternoon."

The dad kissed the boy good-bye. But the boy wiped it off his cheek.

Jim had on a backpack. It was blue.

I love backpacks. I wish I had one of my very own. One time I found a red one in a trash can. But it had a little bit of gushy on it, and Mother said no.

Jim's backpack had lots of zippers. I touched each one of them.

"One... two... three... four," I counted.

Then I unzipped one.

"HEY! DON'T!" yelled Jim.

He zipped it right up again. Then he moved to the seat in front of me.

I hate that Jim.

After that, the bus kept stopping and starting. And lots of kids kept getting on. Loud kids. And some of them were the kind who look like meanies.

Then the bus began getting very noisy and hot inside. And the sun kept shining down on me and my fuzzy hot sweater.

And here's another hot thing. I couldn't roll down my window because it didn't have a handle. And so I just kept on getting hotter and hotter.

And it smelled in the bus, too. The bus smelled like an egg salad sandwich.

"I want to get off of here," I said right out loud. But nobody heard me. "I hate it in this stupid smelly bus."

Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though. 'Cause I'm not a baby, that's why.

After that, my nose started running. Only the bus didn't have a glove compartment. Which is where you keep the travel tissues, of course. And so I had to wipe my nose on my fuzzy pink sweater sleeve.

Then I stayed on the bus for about an hour or three. Until finally I saw a flagpole and a playground.

That meant we were at kindergarten!

Then Mr. Woo drove the bus into the parking lot and stopped.

I jumped up very fast. 'Cause all I wanted to do was get off that stupid smelly thing!

Only guess what? That Jim pushed right in front of me. And the curly mean girl did, too. And then people started squishing me real tight. And so I pushed them away. And they pushed me right back.

That's when I fell down! And a big foot stepped on my skirt that looks like velvet.

"STOP IT!" I yelled.

Then Mr. Woo hollered, "HEY, HEY, HEY!"

And he picked me up. And helped me off the bus.

Mrs. was waiting for me just like my mother said.

"Hi! I'm glad to see you!" she called.

Then I ran over to her. And I showed her the big footprint on my skirt that looks like velvet.

"Yeah, only look what happened. I got stepped on and so now I'm soiled."

Mrs. brushed it. "Don't worry, Junie," she said. "It'll come off."

After that I just folded my arms and made a frown.

'Cause guess what?

She forgot my B. again.
  • WINNER | 1998
    Wisconsin Golden Archer Book Award
  • WINNER | 1995
    New Hampshire Great Stone Face Children's Book Award
© PamelaTidswell
Barbara Park was best-known as the creator and author of the New York Times bestselling Junie B. Jones series, the stories of an outrageously funny kindergartener that have kept kids (and their grownups) laughing—and reading—for over two decades. The series was consistently a #1 New York Times bestseller, spending over 180 weeks on the list, and Barbara and her books were profiled in such national outlets as Time, Newsweek, USA Today, the New York Times, and Today. Barbara Park arrived at the writing profession through an indirect route. Before becoming a bestselling and beloved children’s author, she originally intended to teach high school history and political science. She got her secondary education degree but quickly realized that her calling was to be a writer.  After several rejections, Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers acquired her first manuscript, Operation: Dump the Chump and two others. Don’t Make Me Smile was published first in 1981, followed by Operation: Dump the Chump (1982) and Skinnybones (1982).    She went on to write over 50 books, from the picture book Ma! There’s Nothing to Do Here!, a love letter to her grandson, to middle grade novels such as Skinnybones, The Kid in the Red Jacket, Mick Harte Was Here, and The Graduation of Jake Moon. Barbara won more than 40 children’s book awards, including several Children’s Choice Awards.  Barbara Park was born in Mount Holly, New Jersey, on April 21, 1947, and spent most of her adult life in Arizona. There she, with her husband, Richard, raised her two sons and spent time with her two young grandsons. Park died on November 15, 2013 after fighting ovarian cancer heroically for seven and a half years. View titles by Barbara Park
Denise Brunkus is a children’s book illustrator. She has illustrated more than 60 books, including the wildly popular Junie B. Jones series and Read All About It! by Laura and Jenna Bush. View titles by Denise Brunkus

About

“Hilarious. Barbara Park makes reading fun.” —Dav Pilkey, author of Dog Man
 
Barbara Park’s #1 New York Times bestselling chapter book series, Junie B. Jones, has been keeping kids laughing—and reading—for more than twenty-five years. Over 65 million copies sold!
 
Meet the World’s Funniest Kindergartner—Junie B. Jones! Remember when it was scary to go to school? In the first Junie B. Jones book, it’s Junie B.’s first day and she doesn’t know anything. She’s so scared of the school bus and the meanies on it that when it’s time to go home, she doesn’t.
 
USA Today:
“Junie B. is the darling of the young-reader set.”
 
Publishers Weekly:
“Park convinces beginning readers that Junie B.—and reading—are lots of fun.”
 
Kirkus Reviews:
“Junie’s swarms of young fans will continue to delight in her unique take on the world. . . . A hilarious, first-rate read-aloud.”
 
Time:
“Junie B. Jones is a feisty six-year-old with an endearing penchant for honesty.”

Excerpt

Chapter 3: The Stupid Smelly Bus

The bus wasn't like my daddy's car at all. It was very big inside. And the seats didn't have any cloth on them.

The little curly girl was sitting near the front. And so I  tapped on her.

"Guess what?" I said. "Mother said for me to sit here."

"No!" she said. "I'm saving this seat for my best friend, Mary Ruth Marble!"

Then she put her little white purse on the place where I was going to sit.

And so I made a face at her.

"Hurry up and find a seat, young lady," said Mr. Woo.

And so I quick sat down across from the curly mean girl. And Mr. Woo shut the door.

It wasn't a regular kind of door, though. It folded in half. And when it closed, it made a whishy sound.

I don't like that kind of door. If it closes on you by accident, it will cut you in half, and you will make a squishy sound.

The bus made a big roar. Then a big puff of black smelly smoke came out the back end of it. It's called bus breath, I think.

Mr. Woo drove for a while. Then the brakes made that loud, screechy noise again. I covered my ears so it couldn't get inside my head. 'Cause if loud, screechy noises get inside your head, you have to take an aspirin. I saw that on a TV commercial.

Then the bus door opened again. And a dad and a boy with a grouchy face got on.

The dad smiled. Then he plopped the grouchy boy right next to me.

"This is Jim," he said. "I'm afraid Jim isn't too happy this afternoon."

The dad kissed the boy good-bye. But the boy wiped it off his cheek.

Jim had on a backpack. It was blue.

I love backpacks. I wish I had one of my very own. One time I found a red one in a trash can. But it had a little bit of gushy on it, and Mother said no.

Jim's backpack had lots of zippers. I touched each one of them.

"One... two... three... four," I counted.

Then I unzipped one.

"HEY! DON'T!" yelled Jim.

He zipped it right up again. Then he moved to the seat in front of me.

I hate that Jim.

After that, the bus kept stopping and starting. And lots of kids kept getting on. Loud kids. And some of them were the kind who look like meanies.

Then the bus began getting very noisy and hot inside. And the sun kept shining down on me and my fuzzy hot sweater.

And here's another hot thing. I couldn't roll down my window because it didn't have a handle. And so I just kept on getting hotter and hotter.

And it smelled in the bus, too. The bus smelled like an egg salad sandwich.

"I want to get off of here," I said right out loud. But nobody heard me. "I hate it in this stupid smelly bus."

Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though. 'Cause I'm not a baby, that's why.

After that, my nose started running. Only the bus didn't have a glove compartment. Which is where you keep the travel tissues, of course. And so I had to wipe my nose on my fuzzy pink sweater sleeve.

Then I stayed on the bus for about an hour or three. Until finally I saw a flagpole and a playground.

That meant we were at kindergarten!

Then Mr. Woo drove the bus into the parking lot and stopped.

I jumped up very fast. 'Cause all I wanted to do was get off that stupid smelly thing!

Only guess what? That Jim pushed right in front of me. And the curly mean girl did, too. And then people started squishing me real tight. And so I pushed them away. And they pushed me right back.

That's when I fell down! And a big foot stepped on my skirt that looks like velvet.

"STOP IT!" I yelled.

Then Mr. Woo hollered, "HEY, HEY, HEY!"

And he picked me up. And helped me off the bus.

Mrs. was waiting for me just like my mother said.

"Hi! I'm glad to see you!" she called.

Then I ran over to her. And I showed her the big footprint on my skirt that looks like velvet.

"Yeah, only look what happened. I got stepped on and so now I'm soiled."

Mrs. brushed it. "Don't worry, Junie," she said. "It'll come off."

After that I just folded my arms and made a frown.

'Cause guess what?

She forgot my B. again.

Awards

  • WINNER | 1998
    Wisconsin Golden Archer Book Award
  • WINNER | 1995
    New Hampshire Great Stone Face Children's Book Award

Author

© PamelaTidswell
Barbara Park was best-known as the creator and author of the New York Times bestselling Junie B. Jones series, the stories of an outrageously funny kindergartener that have kept kids (and their grownups) laughing—and reading—for over two decades. The series was consistently a #1 New York Times bestseller, spending over 180 weeks on the list, and Barbara and her books were profiled in such national outlets as Time, Newsweek, USA Today, the New York Times, and Today. Barbara Park arrived at the writing profession through an indirect route. Before becoming a bestselling and beloved children’s author, she originally intended to teach high school history and political science. She got her secondary education degree but quickly realized that her calling was to be a writer.  After several rejections, Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers acquired her first manuscript, Operation: Dump the Chump and two others. Don’t Make Me Smile was published first in 1981, followed by Operation: Dump the Chump (1982) and Skinnybones (1982).    She went on to write over 50 books, from the picture book Ma! There’s Nothing to Do Here!, a love letter to her grandson, to middle grade novels such as Skinnybones, The Kid in the Red Jacket, Mick Harte Was Here, and The Graduation of Jake Moon. Barbara won more than 40 children’s book awards, including several Children’s Choice Awards.  Barbara Park was born in Mount Holly, New Jersey, on April 21, 1947, and spent most of her adult life in Arizona. There she, with her husband, Richard, raised her two sons and spent time with her two young grandsons. Park died on November 15, 2013 after fighting ovarian cancer heroically for seven and a half years. View titles by Barbara Park
Denise Brunkus is a children’s book illustrator. She has illustrated more than 60 books, including the wildly popular Junie B. Jones series and Read All About It! by Laura and Jenna Bush. View titles by Denise Brunkus