For Women Only, For Men Only, and For Couples Only Participant's Guide

About the 3-in-1 Relationship Study Resource

Have you ever looked at the person you know and love best in the world, heard something shocking about how that person thinks, and wondered, Wait—how have I not heard this before?

A decade ago, we stumbled upon some key things that we didn’t know about each other. After investigating them, publishing them in our books For Women Only and For Men Only, and seeing how life changing they are, we think it is important for everyone else to know them too. As men and women, we each have certain specific things that we need and a few hidden things that hurt us. But because men and women are wired so differently, we often have no idea what those things are for the person we love. Because the other person is just different, we are often trying hard in the wrong areas; therefore, the other person may not feel cared for the way we expect. Worse, we can sometimes hurt the other person without ever meaning to.

But once our eyes are opened to what matters to the opposite sex, we can try hard in the right areas. We can show we care, we can avoid these unrecognized hurts, and suddenly we may see the other person feeling very cared for in the way we wanted all along. Which Study Should You Do?

This book contains three different guides packaged together.

• Guide 1: The “For Women Only Discussion Guide” is designed to be used by women who are using the For
Women Only book, the video study, or both the book and the video. Women’s groups, Bible studies, and book clubs—
any just-us-girls environment—will learn to understand men—husbands, boyfriends, coworkers, sons, or any other
men in their lives.

• Guide 2: The “For Men Only Discussion Guide” is designed to be used by men who are using the For Men Only book, the video study, or both. Similarly, men will find this guide helpful regardless of whether they are married, dating,
or just wanting to understand the alien gender.

• Guide 3: The “For Couples Only Discussion Guide” is a little different. Unlike the other two studies, “For Couples
Only” is designed to be done by married, engaged, or dating couples. The key is that in this study men and women will be together the whole time. This study brings together much of the content from the other two studies—not only
to unveil what you need to know about your other half, but to help him or her realize what you don’t already know
(which can be just as important). And it is designed to give the two of you a common language to talk about some key things going forward. Like the others, this particular guide can be used with the books (both For Women Only and For Men Only), the For Couples Only video study, or both.

Whichever study (or studies) you choose to complete, we hope you will have many “Aha!” moments along the way—simple surprises that have big impacts—together with more delight in your relationship and (if you are married) more harmony in your home.

Enjoy the journey!

Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn

P.S. Please note that these guides are designed to accompany the revised and updated (2013) versions of For Men Only and For Women Only. (If you have the older versions of the books, be aware that the page numbers will be different and they each have one less chapter.)