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Conflict without Casualties

A Field Guide for Leading with Compassionate Accountability

Author Nate Regier, PhD
Paperback
$23.95 US
Berrett-Koehler | Berrett-Koehler Publishers
On sale Apr 24, 2017 | 224 Pages | 9781523082605
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When leaders learn how to manage the emotions and drama in their organizations, conflict can be made healthier. Nate Regier uses the Drama Triangle Model and the Compassion Cycle to show leaders how to exercise compassion, not passion, and turn the negative energy of conflict into a positive energy for increased productivity and growth.

"Conflict without Casualties fills a gap by showing leaders at any level how to leverage positive conflict. Practical, insightful, challenging, relevant." -Dan Pink, New York Times bestselling author

Most organizations are terrified of conflict in the workplace, seeing it as a sign of trouble. But Nate Regier says conflict is really just a kind of energy and can be used in positive or negative ways. Handled incorrectly, conflict becomes drama, which is costly to companies, teams, and relationships at all levels. Avoiding, managing, or reducing conflict is a limited alternative. Instead, Regier explores the interpersonal dynamics that perpetuate drama in organizations through a concept called the Drama Triangle and offers an alternative: the Compassion Cycle.

The Compassion Cycle allows leaders to balance compassion and accountability, transforming conflict into a growth experience that enables organizations to achieve significant gains in energy, productivity, engagement, and satisfaction in relationships. Provocative and illuminating, the concepts Regier shares will turn conflict from an experience to be avoided into a partner for positive change.
Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

PART 1 | CONFLICT WITH CASUALTIES: DRAMA IS KILLING US 7
Chapter 1 | Conflict:
The Big Bang of Communication 9

Chapter 2 | Drama:
Misusing the Energy of Conflict 13

Chapter 3 | But I’m Just Trying to Help!:
Good Intentions, Unintended Consequences 33

PART 2 | A FRAMEWORK FOR POSITIVE CONFLICT: COMPASSIONATE ACCOUNTABILITY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD 45

Chapter 4 | Compassion: Not for the Faint of Heart 47

Chapter 5 | Compassion and the Cycles of Human Civilization: Will We Get It Right This Time? 75

PART 3 | CONFLICT WITHOUT CASUALTIES USER MANUAL: PUTTING NEXT ELEMENT’S COMPASSION CYCLE TO WORK 87

Chapter 6 | Violators Will Be Prosecuted: Three Rules of the Compassion Cycle 89

Chapter 7 | Warning! Drama Approaching!: Three Leading Indicators 103

Chapter 8 | It’s All about Choices: Three Choices to Move 111

Chapter 9 | Coaching Accountability When There’s No Drama: Match and Move 129

Chapter 10 | The Formula for Compassionate Conflict: Confronting Drama with Compassionate Accountability 147

Chapter 11 | Conflict without Casualties: Preparing to Struggle with 163

Appendix A | Personal Development Guide 181

Appendix B | Preparing for Conflict: Building My ORPO Bank 191

Notes 195

Glossary of Terms and Phrases 197

Index 201

About the Author 207
Nate Regier, PhD, is the CEO and cofounder of Next Element, a global training advisory firm specializing in leadership communication and building cultures of Compassionate Accountability. He is a former practicing psychologist and holds a doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Kansas.
Nate Regier, PhD View titles by Nate Regier, PhD

About

When leaders learn how to manage the emotions and drama in their organizations, conflict can be made healthier. Nate Regier uses the Drama Triangle Model and the Compassion Cycle to show leaders how to exercise compassion, not passion, and turn the negative energy of conflict into a positive energy for increased productivity and growth.

"Conflict without Casualties fills a gap by showing leaders at any level how to leverage positive conflict. Practical, insightful, challenging, relevant." -Dan Pink, New York Times bestselling author

Most organizations are terrified of conflict in the workplace, seeing it as a sign of trouble. But Nate Regier says conflict is really just a kind of energy and can be used in positive or negative ways. Handled incorrectly, conflict becomes drama, which is costly to companies, teams, and relationships at all levels. Avoiding, managing, or reducing conflict is a limited alternative. Instead, Regier explores the interpersonal dynamics that perpetuate drama in organizations through a concept called the Drama Triangle and offers an alternative: the Compassion Cycle.

The Compassion Cycle allows leaders to balance compassion and accountability, transforming conflict into a growth experience that enables organizations to achieve significant gains in energy, productivity, engagement, and satisfaction in relationships. Provocative and illuminating, the concepts Regier shares will turn conflict from an experience to be avoided into a partner for positive change.

Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction 1

PART 1 | CONFLICT WITH CASUALTIES: DRAMA IS KILLING US 7
Chapter 1 | Conflict:
The Big Bang of Communication 9

Chapter 2 | Drama:
Misusing the Energy of Conflict 13

Chapter 3 | But I’m Just Trying to Help!:
Good Intentions, Unintended Consequences 33

PART 2 | A FRAMEWORK FOR POSITIVE CONFLICT: COMPASSIONATE ACCOUNTABILITY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD 45

Chapter 4 | Compassion: Not for the Faint of Heart 47

Chapter 5 | Compassion and the Cycles of Human Civilization: Will We Get It Right This Time? 75

PART 3 | CONFLICT WITHOUT CASUALTIES USER MANUAL: PUTTING NEXT ELEMENT’S COMPASSION CYCLE TO WORK 87

Chapter 6 | Violators Will Be Prosecuted: Three Rules of the Compassion Cycle 89

Chapter 7 | Warning! Drama Approaching!: Three Leading Indicators 103

Chapter 8 | It’s All about Choices: Three Choices to Move 111

Chapter 9 | Coaching Accountability When There’s No Drama: Match and Move 129

Chapter 10 | The Formula for Compassionate Conflict: Confronting Drama with Compassionate Accountability 147

Chapter 11 | Conflict without Casualties: Preparing to Struggle with 163

Appendix A | Personal Development Guide 181

Appendix B | Preparing for Conflict: Building My ORPO Bank 191

Notes 195

Glossary of Terms and Phrases 197

Index 201

About the Author 207

Author

Nate Regier, PhD, is the CEO and cofounder of Next Element, a global training advisory firm specializing in leadership communication and building cultures of Compassionate Accountability. He is a former practicing psychologist and holds a doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Kansas.
Nate Regier, PhD View titles by Nate Regier, PhD

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