An adoption expert and transracial adoptee herself examines the unique perspectives and challenges these adoptees have as they navigate multiple cultures

“Your parents are so amazing for adopting you! You should be grateful that you were adopted.”

Angela Tucker is a Black woman, adopted from foster care by white parents. She has heard this microaggression her entire life, usually from well-intentioned strangers who view her adoptive parents as noble saviors. She is grateful for many aspects of her life, but being transracially adopted involves layers of rejection, loss, and complexity that cannot be summed up so easily.

In “You Should Be Grateful,” Tucker centers the experiences of adoptees to share deeply personal stories, well-researched history, and engrossing anecdotes from mentorship sessions with adopted youth. These perspectives challenge the fairy-tale narrative of adoption, giving way to a fuller story that explores the impacts of racism, classism, family, love, and belonging.
INTRODUCTION
Adoptee Manifesto

PART I: DISCOVERING

CHAPTER 1
You Should Be Grateful

CHAPTER 2
The Adoptee Lounge

CHAPTER 3
How Much Did I Cost?

CHAPTER 4
My Ghost Kingdom

CHAPTER 5
The Search

PART II: EXPERIENCING

CHAPTER 6
White Privilege by Osmosis

CHAPTER 7
Sandy the Flower Man

CHAPTER 8
Unclaimed

CHAPTER 9
Filling the Void

CHAPTER 10
Survivor’s Guilt

CHAPTER 11
Sandy’s Death

CHAPTER 12
I’m Still Looking for My Baby

CHAPTER 13
The “M” Word

PART III: RECKONING

CHAPTER 14
Us vs. Them

CHAPTER 15
The Sondersphere

CHAPTER 16
An Out-of-Bounds Love

Gratitude
Notes
Index
Angela Tucker is the Executive Director of the Adoptee Mentoring Society and a well-known voice in the conversation about interracial adoption. Through The Adopted Life LLC, Tucker blogs, offers regular consulting for agencies and families, hosts monthly Adoptee Lounges for adult adoptees, and spends her weekends mentoring adopted youth. Tucker earned a BA in Psychology from Seattle Pacific University and lives in Seattle with her husband.

About

An adoption expert and transracial adoptee herself examines the unique perspectives and challenges these adoptees have as they navigate multiple cultures

“Your parents are so amazing for adopting you! You should be grateful that you were adopted.”

Angela Tucker is a Black woman, adopted from foster care by white parents. She has heard this microaggression her entire life, usually from well-intentioned strangers who view her adoptive parents as noble saviors. She is grateful for many aspects of her life, but being transracially adopted involves layers of rejection, loss, and complexity that cannot be summed up so easily.

In “You Should Be Grateful,” Tucker centers the experiences of adoptees to share deeply personal stories, well-researched history, and engrossing anecdotes from mentorship sessions with adopted youth. These perspectives challenge the fairy-tale narrative of adoption, giving way to a fuller story that explores the impacts of racism, classism, family, love, and belonging.

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION
Adoptee Manifesto

PART I: DISCOVERING

CHAPTER 1
You Should Be Grateful

CHAPTER 2
The Adoptee Lounge

CHAPTER 3
How Much Did I Cost?

CHAPTER 4
My Ghost Kingdom

CHAPTER 5
The Search

PART II: EXPERIENCING

CHAPTER 6
White Privilege by Osmosis

CHAPTER 7
Sandy the Flower Man

CHAPTER 8
Unclaimed

CHAPTER 9
Filling the Void

CHAPTER 10
Survivor’s Guilt

CHAPTER 11
Sandy’s Death

CHAPTER 12
I’m Still Looking for My Baby

CHAPTER 13
The “M” Word

PART III: RECKONING

CHAPTER 14
Us vs. Them

CHAPTER 15
The Sondersphere

CHAPTER 16
An Out-of-Bounds Love

Gratitude
Notes
Index

Author

Angela Tucker is the Executive Director of the Adoptee Mentoring Society and a well-known voice in the conversation about interracial adoption. Through The Adopted Life LLC, Tucker blogs, offers regular consulting for agencies and families, hosts monthly Adoptee Lounges for adult adoptees, and spends her weekends mentoring adopted youth. Tucker earned a BA in Psychology from Seattle Pacific University and lives in Seattle with her husband.

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