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Very Bad Poetry

Author Kathryn Petras, Ross Petras
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Paperback
$13.00 US
Knopf | Vintage
On sale Mar 25, 1997 | 144 Pages | 9780679776222
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Writing very bad poetry requires talent.  It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence.

The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius.  From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism.

Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).
From "The Stuttering Lover" by Emerson Brooks (1894):

I lu-love you very well,
Much mu-more than I can tell,
With a lu-lu-lu-lu-love I cannot utter;
I kn-know just what to say
But my tongue gets in the way,
And af-fe-fe-fe-fe-fection's bound to stutter!
        

"The Potato" by Eliza Cook (1818-1839):

The useful and the beautiful
Are not far apart we know.
And thus the beautiful are glad to have,
The homely looking Potato.
On the land, or on the sea,
Wherever we may go,
We are always glad to welcome
The homely Potato.
A practical and moral lesson
This may plainly show,
That though homely, our heart can be
Like that of the homely Potato.
Copyright © 1997 by Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Kathryn Petras is half of a sibling writing team, along with her brother, Ross Petras, with over 4.8 million copies of their work in print—including popular “word nerd” books such as the New York Timesbestseller You’re Saying It Wrong, That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means, Very Bad Poetry, and Awkword Moments. The duo host the podcast “You’re Saying It Wrong” with NPR affiliate KMUW. 
 
The Petras's work has been featured in, diverse media outlets including the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Bustle, the Atlantic Monthly, the London Times, and McSweeney’s. They have also been guests on hundreds of radio shows as well as television shows and networks, including NPR's Here and Now, Good Morning America, CNN, and Fox & Friends. View titles by Kathryn Petras
Ross Petras is half of a sibling writing team, along with his sister, Kathy Petras, with over 4.8 million copies of their work in print—including popular “word nerd” books such as the New York Times bestseller You’re Saying It Wrong, That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means, Very Bad Poetry, and Awkword Moments. The duo host the podcast “You’re Saying It Wrong” with NPR affiliate KMUW. 
 
The Petras's work has been featured in diverse media outlets including the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Bustle, the Atlantic Monthly, the London Times, and McSweeney’s. They have also been guests on hundreds of radio shows as well as television shows and networks, including NPR's Here and Now, Good Morning America, CNN, and Fox & Friends. View titles by Ross Petras

About

Writing very bad poetry requires talent.  It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence.

The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius.  From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism.

Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).

Excerpt

From "The Stuttering Lover" by Emerson Brooks (1894):

I lu-love you very well,
Much mu-more than I can tell,
With a lu-lu-lu-lu-love I cannot utter;
I kn-know just what to say
But my tongue gets in the way,
And af-fe-fe-fe-fe-fection's bound to stutter!
        

"The Potato" by Eliza Cook (1818-1839):

The useful and the beautiful
Are not far apart we know.
And thus the beautiful are glad to have,
The homely looking Potato.
On the land, or on the sea,
Wherever we may go,
We are always glad to welcome
The homely Potato.
A practical and moral lesson
This may plainly show,
That though homely, our heart can be
Like that of the homely Potato.
Copyright © 1997 by Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

Author

Kathryn Petras is half of a sibling writing team, along with her brother, Ross Petras, with over 4.8 million copies of their work in print—including popular “word nerd” books such as the New York Timesbestseller You’re Saying It Wrong, That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means, Very Bad Poetry, and Awkword Moments. The duo host the podcast “You’re Saying It Wrong” with NPR affiliate KMUW. 
 
The Petras's work has been featured in, diverse media outlets including the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Bustle, the Atlantic Monthly, the London Times, and McSweeney’s. They have also been guests on hundreds of radio shows as well as television shows and networks, including NPR's Here and Now, Good Morning America, CNN, and Fox & Friends. View titles by Kathryn Petras
Ross Petras is half of a sibling writing team, along with his sister, Kathy Petras, with over 4.8 million copies of their work in print—including popular “word nerd” books such as the New York Times bestseller You’re Saying It Wrong, That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means, Very Bad Poetry, and Awkword Moments. The duo host the podcast “You’re Saying It Wrong” with NPR affiliate KMUW. 
 
The Petras's work has been featured in diverse media outlets including the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Bustle, the Atlantic Monthly, the London Times, and McSweeney’s. They have also been guests on hundreds of radio shows as well as television shows and networks, including NPR's Here and Now, Good Morning America, CNN, and Fox & Friends. View titles by Ross Petras

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