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When Dad Hurts Mom

Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

Author Lundy Bancroft
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Paperback
$20.00 US
Berkley / NAL | Berkley
On sale Mar 01, 2005 | 384 Pages | 9780425200315
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Written by a therapist who specializes in abusive men, this guide reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children—and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse.

Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?

Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it’s physical or “just” emotional abuse, whether it’s aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.

This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:

• Protect children and help them heal emotionally
• Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
• Increase their chances of winning custody
• Help their kids feel good about themselves

“A must-read for every mother who has been abused...it offers the knowledge women need to protect their children and help them heal.”—William S. Pollack, Ph.D., author of the national bestseller Real Boys
When Dad Hurts MomPreface

One: Partner Abuse Through Children's Eyes and Ears

Part I: The Abusive Man and Your Children
Two: The Abusive Mindset and Children
Three: Abusive Men as Parents
Four: Understanding Your Children's Inner World
Five: Protecting your Children's Boundaries

Part II: The Abusive Man and Family Dynamics
Six: A Weekend with the Abbott Family
Seven: Defending Your Role as Mother
Eight: Maintaining Healthy Dynamics in Your Family
Nine: To Leave or Not to Leave
Ten: Dealing with Child Protective Services

Part III: The Abusive Man and Your Children Post-Separation
Eleven: What Separation and Divorce Mean for Your Children
Twelve: Abusive Men as post-Separation Parents
Thirteen: making your Way in the Family Court System

Part IV: Children Moving Forward
Fourteen: Helping Your Children Heal
Fifteen: Empowering your Children
Sixteen: Stopping the Cycle of Abuse

Resources
Hearing the Personal Accounts of Abused Mothers
Index

© Rythea Lee
Lundy Bancroft has spent the last fifteen years of his career specializing in domestic abuse and the behavior of abusive men and is considered one of the world’s experts on the subject. He is the author of journal articles on abuse that have appeared in The New England Journal of Medicine and The Journal of Contemporary Psychology. The former codirector at Emerge, the nation’s first program for abusive men, Bancroft now practices in Massachusetts while training various state and judicial agencies in dealing with domestic abuse situations. View titles by Lundy Bancroft

About

Written by a therapist who specializes in abusive men, this guide reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children—and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse.

Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?

Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it’s physical or “just” emotional abuse, whether it’s aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.

This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:

• Protect children and help them heal emotionally
• Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
• Increase their chances of winning custody
• Help their kids feel good about themselves

“A must-read for every mother who has been abused...it offers the knowledge women need to protect their children and help them heal.”—William S. Pollack, Ph.D., author of the national bestseller Real Boys

Table of Contents

When Dad Hurts MomPreface

One: Partner Abuse Through Children's Eyes and Ears

Part I: The Abusive Man and Your Children
Two: The Abusive Mindset and Children
Three: Abusive Men as Parents
Four: Understanding Your Children's Inner World
Five: Protecting your Children's Boundaries

Part II: The Abusive Man and Family Dynamics
Six: A Weekend with the Abbott Family
Seven: Defending Your Role as Mother
Eight: Maintaining Healthy Dynamics in Your Family
Nine: To Leave or Not to Leave
Ten: Dealing with Child Protective Services

Part III: The Abusive Man and Your Children Post-Separation
Eleven: What Separation and Divorce Mean for Your Children
Twelve: Abusive Men as post-Separation Parents
Thirteen: making your Way in the Family Court System

Part IV: Children Moving Forward
Fourteen: Helping Your Children Heal
Fifteen: Empowering your Children
Sixteen: Stopping the Cycle of Abuse

Resources
Hearing the Personal Accounts of Abused Mothers
Index

Author

© Rythea Lee
Lundy Bancroft has spent the last fifteen years of his career specializing in domestic abuse and the behavior of abusive men and is considered one of the world’s experts on the subject. He is the author of journal articles on abuse that have appeared in The New England Journal of Medicine and The Journal of Contemporary Psychology. The former codirector at Emerge, the nation’s first program for abusive men, Bancroft now practices in Massachusetts while training various state and judicial agencies in dealing with domestic abuse situations. View titles by Lundy Bancroft

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