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All the Birds, Singing

A Novel

Author Evie Wyld
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From one of Granta’s Best Young British Novelists, a stunningly insightful, emotionally powerful new novel about an outsider haunted by an inescapable past: a story of loneliness and survival, guilt and loss, and the power of forgiveness.
 
Jake Whyte is living on her own in an old farmhouse on a craggy British island, a place of ceaseless rain and battering wind. Her disobedient collie, Dog, and a flock of sheep are her sole companions, which is how she wants it to be. But every few nights something—or someone—picks off one of the sheep and sounds a new deep pulse of terror. There are foxes in the woods, a strange boy and a strange man, and rumors of an obscure, formidable beast. And there is also Jake’s past, hidden thousands of miles away and years ago, held in the silences about her family and the scars that stripe her back—a past that threatens to break into the present. With exceptional artistry and empathy, All the Birds, Singing reveals an isolated life in all its struggles and stubborn hopes, unexpected beauty, and hard-won redemption.

“Purely gorgeous. . . . Writing with assurance and just enough embedded clues to help us understand what she is doing, Wyld ramps up the tension. . . . In the end, the hardness at Jake’s core and the stubborn isolation she has chosen are undercut by unexpected, softly radiant developments. There’s love as well as dread in this book, a surprising sort of love—the best kind of all.” —Barbara King, Washington Post
 
“Prepare yourself for an indelible heroine, a fortifying lonesomeness, and a nuanced commentary on what it takes for an outcast girl to survive in an unforgiving world. Wyld’s novel is so bitterly gorgeous you want to linger, and so deeply jarring you want to run away. It deserves to be a modern classic.”  —Brian Hurley (Books Editor at The Rumpus) for his blog The Fiction Advocate
 
“Darkly menacing and quietly terrifying. . . . Gorgeous writing. . . . A must-read for anyone looking for an artful scare. . . . And yet despite all the fear and foreboding, the book’s protagonist is no damsel in distress. . . . As the harsh world seems to circle in around her, the reader will keep on turning pages, heart in her throat, to make sure she keeps on surviving.” —Emma Cueto, Bustle
 
“Utterly gripping. . . . The book has the brisk pacing of a well-thumbed pocket paperback found in a summer cottage, and yet it’s the sort of book that gets listed as a best book of the year. . . . The success of The Goldfinch was a perfect test case. . . . The mystery of what’s going on with the sheep in All the Birds, Singing, were it the book’s only subject, would make for a fun read on its own. But the sheep are only the beginning.” —Daniel D’Addario, Salon
 
“Gloriously gruesome [and] lushly visceral. . . . One of the keenest pleasures of this novel is the richness of its animal world. . . . To say that Wyld’s writing makes the art of sheep shearing come alive for the reader may not sound like a particular compliment, but oh, it is—she makes it sing with flea-coated, dung-crusted eloquence. . . . Half of you wants to race through to find out what happens, half wants to pause over the dark, clotted sentences. And then the state of suspense becomes almost unbearable, and you rush through, feeling like you are sprinting through a museum of sinister curiosities, too frightened to linger. . . . The final revelation, when it comes, is explosive.” —Annalisa Quinn, NPR.org (review)
 
“Wyld makes the ordinary extraordinary. . . . The conclusion of the novel, when the reveal is delivered with a powerful punch, [is] like something out of an Alice Munro story.” —Courtney Allison, Kirkus Reviews (feature)
 
“Wyld displays a fierce command of language. . . . She tackles a variety of difficult themes—memory and trauma chief among them—with considerable care.” —Charles Shafaieh, Daily Beast
 
“Gorgeous. . . . The book is remarkable not only for the nearly unbearable sense of suspense, but also for the lushness of the animal world.” —NPR.org (“Best Book Coming Out This Week”)
 
“Daring and fierce, this is a book that makes you feel the need to look over your shoulder in case something dark and hulking might be gaining on you. . . . From the very first sentence of Wyld’s brilliantly unsettling novel, you’re thrust into a world of violence, dread, and psychological mystery. . . . Where Wyld truly shines is in the writing, flooding every page with menace. . . . Her language is as rattling as it is precise.” —Caroline Leavitt, Boston Globe
 
“Wyld teasingly leads readers to the mysterious incident Jake is trying to escape . . . [The novel has] an atmosphere pungent with menace and panicked uncertainty . . . Wyld keeps her readers in a blinkered state and then spooks them.” —Sam Sacks, Wall Street Journal
 
“Gorgeously vivid. . . . Ripe material for a Jane Campion movie or miniserie. . . . Wyld is deserving of recognition.” —Christine Smallwood, Harper’s
 
“Evie Wyld’s novels ask tough questions without seeking easy answers. . . . Wyld excels in the intimate details that make up the relationship between humans and animals . . . Best of all are Jake’s interactions with dogs in the novel. . . . Despite Jake’s gruff exterior, this is not a book about loneliness or even isolation. There are moments of connection and human kindness. . . . Wyld once again creates a complex character.” —Lauren Bufferd, BookPage

“A riveting novel. . . . Jake is both haunted by the past and struggling with the present, and the intensity of Wyld’s sharp novel grows as the two threaten to collide.” —Leah Strauss, Booklist
 
“Searing. . . . Wyld’s writing is as muscular as Jake.” —Publishers Weekly
 
“A book so beautifully written, so alive, so nail-bitingly suspenseful, that at points this reader felt as if the oxygen might be thinning.” —Cornelius Browne, GuardianReaders’ Books of the Year 
 
"One of the best books I read this year was Evie Wyld's darkly beautiful All the Birds, Singing. Wyld twists together the warp and weft of poetic language and plot to create a disquieting, deeply suspenseful novel. It lingered with me long after I finished it." 
Hannah Kent, Sydney Morning Herald Books of the YearOne of the best books I read this year was Evie Wyld’s darkly beautiful All the Birds, Singing. Wyld twists together the warp and weft of poetic language and plot to create a disquieting, deeply suspenseful novel. It lingered with me long after I finished it.” —Hannah Kent, author of Burial Rites, in Sydney Morning Herald Books of the Year

“Completely and utterly monumental.”  —BBC Radio 4
 
“A tremendous achievement. . . . A dark, powerfully disturbing and beautifully observed story . . . almost Nabokovian in its structural intricacy.” —William Boyd,New Statesman 
 
“Outstanding . . . Evie Wyld is the real thing. . . . She reconfigures the conventions of storytelling with a sure-footedness and ambition which belie her age. . . . Quite as good as Ian McEwan’s early fiction.” —The Spectator
 
“Extraordinarily accomplished, one of those books that tears around in your cerebellum like a dark firework, and which, upon finishing, you immediately want to pick up again.” —Financial Times
 
“Absolutely gorgeous. . . . Wyld’s heroine, Jake, is like Hemingway’s Nick Adams in toughness and silence, but she has a far more terrifying history, and her story now is edged by greater threat. You won’t be able to stop reading.” —David Vann, author of Legend of a Suicide
 
“Ingeniously constructed.” —Literary Review
 
“A riveting novel. . . . Jake is both haunted by the past and struggling with the present, and the intensity of Wyld’s sharp novel grows as the two threaten to collide.” —Booklist
 
“An intensely involving tale of survival, shot through with Wyld’s distinctive wit. . . . An indelible and atmospheric novel that will have the hairs on the back of your neck working overtime.” —Daily Mail
 
“For once, the hype matches the talent. . . . Wyld’s writing seems to come from somewhere deep somewhere a little bit unnerving.” —The Sunday Times (London)
 
“It’s the quality of Wyld’s prose that really blows your mind.” —Metro
 
“One of the best books I read this year was Evie Wyld's darkly beautiful All the Birds, Singing. Wyld twists together the warp and weft of poetic language and plot to create a disquieting, deeply suspenseful novel. It lingered with me long after I finished it."  —Hannah Kent, Sydney Morning Herald 
 
“Searing. . . . Wyld’s writing is as muscular as Jake.” —Publishers Weekly
 
 “Wyld [is] a writer of exceptional talent . . . a distinctive and important new voice.” —Irish Times
 
“Vividly drawn. . . . When the birds do ‘sing,’ and Jake’s primal tragedy is revealed, it is clever and very unexpected indeed.” —The Guardian
 
“Unsettling, beautiful, horrifying and moving in equal parts. . . . In the flawed but vulnerable character of Jake, Wyld’s created someone you can’t help but care for, root for and desperately want the best for . . . There is no disputing the power of the story and the beauty of Wyld’s writing. It’s an extraordinary book.” —Stylist
 
“One feels the influence of an early Ian McEwan or Iain Banks. . . . But All the Birds, Singing is also powerfully original.” —Times Literary Supplement (London)
 
“Tim Winton is a writer with whom the fearless Wyld deserves serious comparison.” —Daily Telegraph
 
Wyld’s work has been compared to that of Cormac McCarthy for the mythic qualities they share, but it is in the continuity of peoples, places and customs that the two are bound together tightest. The Skinny

1
 
Another sheep, mangled and bled out, her innards not yet crusting and the vapours rising from her like a steamed pudding. Crows, their beaks shining, strutting and rasping, and when I waved my stick they flew to the trees and watched, flaring out their wings, singing, if you could call it that. I shoved my boot in Dog’s face to stop him from taking a string of her away with him as a souvenir, and he kept close by my side as I wheeled the carcass out of the field and down into the woolshed.
 
I’d been up that morning, before the light came through, out there, talking to myself, telling the dog about the things that needed doing as the blackbirds in the hawthorn started up. Like a mad woman, listening to her own voice, the wind shoving it back down my throat and hooting over my open mouth like it had done every morning since I moved to the island. With the trees rattling in the copse and the sheep blaring out behind me, the same trees, the same wind and sheep.
 
That made two deaths in a month. The rain started to come down, and a sudden gust of wind flung sheep shit at the back of my neck so it stung. I pulled up my collar and shielded my eyes with my hand.
 
Cree-cra, cold, cree-cra, cold.
 
“What are you laughing at?” I shouted at the crows and lobbed a stone at them. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and breathed in and out heavily to get rid of the blood smell. The crows were silent. When I turned to look, five of them sat in a row on the same branch, eyeing me but not speaking. The wind blew my hair in my eyes.
 
#
 
The farm shop at Marling had a warped and faded sign at the foot of its gate that read FREE BABY GUINEA PIGS. There was never any trace of the free guinea pigs and I had passed the point of being able to ask. The pale daughter of the owner was there, doing a crossword. She looked up at me, then looked back down like she was embarrassed.
 
“Hi,” I said.
 
She blushed but gave me the smallest of acknowledgements. She wore a thick green tracksuit and her hair was in a ponytail. Around her eyes was the faint redness that came after a night of crying or drinking.
 
Normally the potatoes from that place were good, but they all gave a little bit when I picked them up. I put them back down and moved over to tomatoes, but they weren’t any good either. I looked up out the window to where the farm’s greenhouse stood and saw the glass was all broken.
 
“Hey,” I said to the girl, who when I turned around was already looking at me, sucking the end of her pencil. “What happened to your greenhouse?”
 
“The wind,” she said, taking her pencil to the side of her mouth just for a moment. “Dad said to say the wind blew it in.”
 
I could see the glass scattered outside where normally they kept pots of ugly pink cyclamen with a sign that said THE JEWEL FOR YOUR WINTER GARDEN. Just black earth and glass now.
 
“Wow,” I said.
 
“Things always get mad on New Year’s Eve,” said the girl in an older voice that surprised both of us. She blushed deeper and turned her eyes back to her crossword. In the greenhouse, the man who normally ran the shop sat with his head in his hands.
 
I took some oranges and leeks and lemons to the counter. I didn’t need anything, the trip was more about the drive than the supplies. The girl dropped her pencil out of her mouth and started to count oranges, but wasn’t sure of herself and started again a few times over. There was a smell of alcohol about her, masked by too much perfume. A hangover then. I imagined an argument with her father. I looked up at the greenhouse again, the man in it still with his head in his hands, the wind blowing through.
 
“Are there nine there?” she asked, and even though I hadn’t counted as I put them in the basket I said yes. She tapped things into the till.
 
“Must be hard to lose the greenhouse,” I said, noticing a small blue bruise at the girl’s temple. She didn’t look up.
 
“It’s not so bad. We should have had an order over from the mainland, but the ferry’s not going today.”
 
“The ferry’s not going?”
 
“Weather’s too bad,” she said, again in that old voice that embarrassed us both.
 
“I’ve never known that to happen.”
 
“It happens,” she said, putting my oranges in one bag and the rest in another. “They built the new boats too big so they aren’t safe in bad weather.”
 
“Do you know what the forecast is?”
 
The girl glanced up at me quickly and lowered her eyes again.
 
“No. Four pounds twenty please.” She slowly counted out my money. It took two goes to get the change right. I wondered what new thing she’d heard about me. It was time to leave, but I didn’t move.
 
“So what’s with the free guinea pigs?”
 
The flush came back to her face. “They’ve gone. We gave them to my brother’s snake. There were loads.”
 
“Oh.”
 
The girl smiled. “It was years ago.”
 
“Sure,” I said.
 
The girl put the pencil back in her mouth and her eyes fluttered back down to her crossword. She was just colouring in the white squares, it turned out.
 
In the truck, I found I had left the oranges in the shop. I looked out of my rear-view mirror at the smashed greenhouse and saw the man inside standing up with his hands on his hips looking at me. I locked the doors and drove away without the oranges.
 
It started to rain heavily, and I turned up the heating and put the wipers on full speed. We drove past the spot I usually stopped to walk Dog and he sat in the passenger seat and stared at me hard, and every time I turned to look at him he put his ears up, like we were mid-conversation and I was avoiding his look. “So what?” I said. “You’re a dog.” And then he turned around and looked out the window.
 
#
 
Midway home it caught up with me and I pulled over into the entrance to an empty field. Dog gazed stoically out the window, still and calm, and I pressed my thumb into the bridge of my nose to try and take away the prickling, clung on to the skin of my chest with the nails of my other hand to melt away that old -thudding ache that came with losing a sheep, a bead of blood landing in an open eye. I cried drily, honking and with my mouth open, rocking the truck and feeling something grappling around inside me getting no closer to coming out. Have a good cry; it was the kind of thing Mum’d say to a triplet in the hope a visit to the hospital wasn’t necessary. Like the time Cleve fell out of a tree and cried it out, and we found out later he had a broken arm. But there was nothing good in my crying—it prevented me from breathing, it hurt. I stopped once my nose began to bleed, cleaned it up with the shammy I used on the days the windows were iced on the inside and drove home, calmly. On the Military Road near to the turning home, some teenagers fondled about at the bus stop. When they saw me coming one of the boys pretended to put something in his mouth, another mounted him from behind and humped him while he mimed throwing a lasso. The girls laughed and gave me the finger. As I rounded the corner the boy with the lasso dropped his trousers and showed his white arse.

#

  • WINNER | 2014
    Miles Franklin Literary Award
© Urszula Soltys

EVIE WYLD’s debut novel, After the Fire, a Still Small Voice, was short-listed for the International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award and awarded the John Llewellyn Rhys Prize. Her second novel, All the Birds, Singing, won the Miles Franklin Literary Award, the Encore Award and the European Union Prize for Literature, and it was shortlisted for the Costa Book Award for Best Novel. In 2013 she was named one of Granta’s Best of Young British Novelists. Her latest novel, The Bass Rock, won the Stella Prize. She lives in London.

View titles by Evie Wyld

About

From one of Granta’s Best Young British Novelists, a stunningly insightful, emotionally powerful new novel about an outsider haunted by an inescapable past: a story of loneliness and survival, guilt and loss, and the power of forgiveness.
 
Jake Whyte is living on her own in an old farmhouse on a craggy British island, a place of ceaseless rain and battering wind. Her disobedient collie, Dog, and a flock of sheep are her sole companions, which is how she wants it to be. But every few nights something—or someone—picks off one of the sheep and sounds a new deep pulse of terror. There are foxes in the woods, a strange boy and a strange man, and rumors of an obscure, formidable beast. And there is also Jake’s past, hidden thousands of miles away and years ago, held in the silences about her family and the scars that stripe her back—a past that threatens to break into the present. With exceptional artistry and empathy, All the Birds, Singing reveals an isolated life in all its struggles and stubborn hopes, unexpected beauty, and hard-won redemption.

“Purely gorgeous. . . . Writing with assurance and just enough embedded clues to help us understand what she is doing, Wyld ramps up the tension. . . . In the end, the hardness at Jake’s core and the stubborn isolation she has chosen are undercut by unexpected, softly radiant developments. There’s love as well as dread in this book, a surprising sort of love—the best kind of all.” —Barbara King, Washington Post
 
“Prepare yourself for an indelible heroine, a fortifying lonesomeness, and a nuanced commentary on what it takes for an outcast girl to survive in an unforgiving world. Wyld’s novel is so bitterly gorgeous you want to linger, and so deeply jarring you want to run away. It deserves to be a modern classic.”  —Brian Hurley (Books Editor at The Rumpus) for his blog The Fiction Advocate
 
“Darkly menacing and quietly terrifying. . . . Gorgeous writing. . . . A must-read for anyone looking for an artful scare. . . . And yet despite all the fear and foreboding, the book’s protagonist is no damsel in distress. . . . As the harsh world seems to circle in around her, the reader will keep on turning pages, heart in her throat, to make sure she keeps on surviving.” —Emma Cueto, Bustle
 
“Utterly gripping. . . . The book has the brisk pacing of a well-thumbed pocket paperback found in a summer cottage, and yet it’s the sort of book that gets listed as a best book of the year. . . . The success of The Goldfinch was a perfect test case. . . . The mystery of what’s going on with the sheep in All the Birds, Singing, were it the book’s only subject, would make for a fun read on its own. But the sheep are only the beginning.” —Daniel D’Addario, Salon
 
“Gloriously gruesome [and] lushly visceral. . . . One of the keenest pleasures of this novel is the richness of its animal world. . . . To say that Wyld’s writing makes the art of sheep shearing come alive for the reader may not sound like a particular compliment, but oh, it is—she makes it sing with flea-coated, dung-crusted eloquence. . . . Half of you wants to race through to find out what happens, half wants to pause over the dark, clotted sentences. And then the state of suspense becomes almost unbearable, and you rush through, feeling like you are sprinting through a museum of sinister curiosities, too frightened to linger. . . . The final revelation, when it comes, is explosive.” —Annalisa Quinn, NPR.org (review)
 
“Wyld makes the ordinary extraordinary. . . . The conclusion of the novel, when the reveal is delivered with a powerful punch, [is] like something out of an Alice Munro story.” —Courtney Allison, Kirkus Reviews (feature)
 
“Wyld displays a fierce command of language. . . . She tackles a variety of difficult themes—memory and trauma chief among them—with considerable care.” —Charles Shafaieh, Daily Beast
 
“Gorgeous. . . . The book is remarkable not only for the nearly unbearable sense of suspense, but also for the lushness of the animal world.” —NPR.org (“Best Book Coming Out This Week”)
 
“Daring and fierce, this is a book that makes you feel the need to look over your shoulder in case something dark and hulking might be gaining on you. . . . From the very first sentence of Wyld’s brilliantly unsettling novel, you’re thrust into a world of violence, dread, and psychological mystery. . . . Where Wyld truly shines is in the writing, flooding every page with menace. . . . Her language is as rattling as it is precise.” —Caroline Leavitt, Boston Globe
 
“Wyld teasingly leads readers to the mysterious incident Jake is trying to escape . . . [The novel has] an atmosphere pungent with menace and panicked uncertainty . . . Wyld keeps her readers in a blinkered state and then spooks them.” —Sam Sacks, Wall Street Journal
 
“Gorgeously vivid. . . . Ripe material for a Jane Campion movie or miniserie. . . . Wyld is deserving of recognition.” —Christine Smallwood, Harper’s
 
“Evie Wyld’s novels ask tough questions without seeking easy answers. . . . Wyld excels in the intimate details that make up the relationship between humans and animals . . . Best of all are Jake’s interactions with dogs in the novel. . . . Despite Jake’s gruff exterior, this is not a book about loneliness or even isolation. There are moments of connection and human kindness. . . . Wyld once again creates a complex character.” —Lauren Bufferd, BookPage

“A riveting novel. . . . Jake is both haunted by the past and struggling with the present, and the intensity of Wyld’s sharp novel grows as the two threaten to collide.” —Leah Strauss, Booklist
 
“Searing. . . . Wyld’s writing is as muscular as Jake.” —Publishers Weekly
 
“A book so beautifully written, so alive, so nail-bitingly suspenseful, that at points this reader felt as if the oxygen might be thinning.” —Cornelius Browne, GuardianReaders’ Books of the Year 
 
"One of the best books I read this year was Evie Wyld's darkly beautiful All the Birds, Singing. Wyld twists together the warp and weft of poetic language and plot to create a disquieting, deeply suspenseful novel. It lingered with me long after I finished it." 
Hannah Kent, Sydney Morning Herald Books of the YearOne of the best books I read this year was Evie Wyld’s darkly beautiful All the Birds, Singing. Wyld twists together the warp and weft of poetic language and plot to create a disquieting, deeply suspenseful novel. It lingered with me long after I finished it.” —Hannah Kent, author of Burial Rites, in Sydney Morning Herald Books of the Year

“Completely and utterly monumental.”  —BBC Radio 4
 
“A tremendous achievement. . . . A dark, powerfully disturbing and beautifully observed story . . . almost Nabokovian in its structural intricacy.” —William Boyd,New Statesman 
 
“Outstanding . . . Evie Wyld is the real thing. . . . She reconfigures the conventions of storytelling with a sure-footedness and ambition which belie her age. . . . Quite as good as Ian McEwan’s early fiction.” —The Spectator
 
“Extraordinarily accomplished, one of those books that tears around in your cerebellum like a dark firework, and which, upon finishing, you immediately want to pick up again.” —Financial Times
 
“Absolutely gorgeous. . . . Wyld’s heroine, Jake, is like Hemingway’s Nick Adams in toughness and silence, but she has a far more terrifying history, and her story now is edged by greater threat. You won’t be able to stop reading.” —David Vann, author of Legend of a Suicide
 
“Ingeniously constructed.” —Literary Review
 
“A riveting novel. . . . Jake is both haunted by the past and struggling with the present, and the intensity of Wyld’s sharp novel grows as the two threaten to collide.” —Booklist
 
“An intensely involving tale of survival, shot through with Wyld’s distinctive wit. . . . An indelible and atmospheric novel that will have the hairs on the back of your neck working overtime.” —Daily Mail
 
“For once, the hype matches the talent. . . . Wyld’s writing seems to come from somewhere deep somewhere a little bit unnerving.” —The Sunday Times (London)
 
“It’s the quality of Wyld’s prose that really blows your mind.” —Metro
 
“One of the best books I read this year was Evie Wyld's darkly beautiful All the Birds, Singing. Wyld twists together the warp and weft of poetic language and plot to create a disquieting, deeply suspenseful novel. It lingered with me long after I finished it."  —Hannah Kent, Sydney Morning Herald 
 
“Searing. . . . Wyld’s writing is as muscular as Jake.” —Publishers Weekly
 
 “Wyld [is] a writer of exceptional talent . . . a distinctive and important new voice.” —Irish Times
 
“Vividly drawn. . . . When the birds do ‘sing,’ and Jake’s primal tragedy is revealed, it is clever and very unexpected indeed.” —The Guardian
 
“Unsettling, beautiful, horrifying and moving in equal parts. . . . In the flawed but vulnerable character of Jake, Wyld’s created someone you can’t help but care for, root for and desperately want the best for . . . There is no disputing the power of the story and the beauty of Wyld’s writing. It’s an extraordinary book.” —Stylist
 
“One feels the influence of an early Ian McEwan or Iain Banks. . . . But All the Birds, Singing is also powerfully original.” —Times Literary Supplement (London)
 
“Tim Winton is a writer with whom the fearless Wyld deserves serious comparison.” —Daily Telegraph
 
Wyld’s work has been compared to that of Cormac McCarthy for the mythic qualities they share, but it is in the continuity of peoples, places and customs that the two are bound together tightest. The Skinny

Excerpt

1
 
Another sheep, mangled and bled out, her innards not yet crusting and the vapours rising from her like a steamed pudding. Crows, their beaks shining, strutting and rasping, and when I waved my stick they flew to the trees and watched, flaring out their wings, singing, if you could call it that. I shoved my boot in Dog’s face to stop him from taking a string of her away with him as a souvenir, and he kept close by my side as I wheeled the carcass out of the field and down into the woolshed.
 
I’d been up that morning, before the light came through, out there, talking to myself, telling the dog about the things that needed doing as the blackbirds in the hawthorn started up. Like a mad woman, listening to her own voice, the wind shoving it back down my throat and hooting over my open mouth like it had done every morning since I moved to the island. With the trees rattling in the copse and the sheep blaring out behind me, the same trees, the same wind and sheep.
 
That made two deaths in a month. The rain started to come down, and a sudden gust of wind flung sheep shit at the back of my neck so it stung. I pulled up my collar and shielded my eyes with my hand.
 
Cree-cra, cold, cree-cra, cold.
 
“What are you laughing at?” I shouted at the crows and lobbed a stone at them. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and breathed in and out heavily to get rid of the blood smell. The crows were silent. When I turned to look, five of them sat in a row on the same branch, eyeing me but not speaking. The wind blew my hair in my eyes.
 
#
 
The farm shop at Marling had a warped and faded sign at the foot of its gate that read FREE BABY GUINEA PIGS. There was never any trace of the free guinea pigs and I had passed the point of being able to ask. The pale daughter of the owner was there, doing a crossword. She looked up at me, then looked back down like she was embarrassed.
 
“Hi,” I said.
 
She blushed but gave me the smallest of acknowledgements. She wore a thick green tracksuit and her hair was in a ponytail. Around her eyes was the faint redness that came after a night of crying or drinking.
 
Normally the potatoes from that place were good, but they all gave a little bit when I picked them up. I put them back down and moved over to tomatoes, but they weren’t any good either. I looked up out the window to where the farm’s greenhouse stood and saw the glass was all broken.
 
“Hey,” I said to the girl, who when I turned around was already looking at me, sucking the end of her pencil. “What happened to your greenhouse?”
 
“The wind,” she said, taking her pencil to the side of her mouth just for a moment. “Dad said to say the wind blew it in.”
 
I could see the glass scattered outside where normally they kept pots of ugly pink cyclamen with a sign that said THE JEWEL FOR YOUR WINTER GARDEN. Just black earth and glass now.
 
“Wow,” I said.
 
“Things always get mad on New Year’s Eve,” said the girl in an older voice that surprised both of us. She blushed deeper and turned her eyes back to her crossword. In the greenhouse, the man who normally ran the shop sat with his head in his hands.
 
I took some oranges and leeks and lemons to the counter. I didn’t need anything, the trip was more about the drive than the supplies. The girl dropped her pencil out of her mouth and started to count oranges, but wasn’t sure of herself and started again a few times over. There was a smell of alcohol about her, masked by too much perfume. A hangover then. I imagined an argument with her father. I looked up at the greenhouse again, the man in it still with his head in his hands, the wind blowing through.
 
“Are there nine there?” she asked, and even though I hadn’t counted as I put them in the basket I said yes. She tapped things into the till.
 
“Must be hard to lose the greenhouse,” I said, noticing a small blue bruise at the girl’s temple. She didn’t look up.
 
“It’s not so bad. We should have had an order over from the mainland, but the ferry’s not going today.”
 
“The ferry’s not going?”
 
“Weather’s too bad,” she said, again in that old voice that embarrassed us both.
 
“I’ve never known that to happen.”
 
“It happens,” she said, putting my oranges in one bag and the rest in another. “They built the new boats too big so they aren’t safe in bad weather.”
 
“Do you know what the forecast is?”
 
The girl glanced up at me quickly and lowered her eyes again.
 
“No. Four pounds twenty please.” She slowly counted out my money. It took two goes to get the change right. I wondered what new thing she’d heard about me. It was time to leave, but I didn’t move.
 
“So what’s with the free guinea pigs?”
 
The flush came back to her face. “They’ve gone. We gave them to my brother’s snake. There were loads.”
 
“Oh.”
 
The girl smiled. “It was years ago.”
 
“Sure,” I said.
 
The girl put the pencil back in her mouth and her eyes fluttered back down to her crossword. She was just colouring in the white squares, it turned out.
 
In the truck, I found I had left the oranges in the shop. I looked out of my rear-view mirror at the smashed greenhouse and saw the man inside standing up with his hands on his hips looking at me. I locked the doors and drove away without the oranges.
 
It started to rain heavily, and I turned up the heating and put the wipers on full speed. We drove past the spot I usually stopped to walk Dog and he sat in the passenger seat and stared at me hard, and every time I turned to look at him he put his ears up, like we were mid-conversation and I was avoiding his look. “So what?” I said. “You’re a dog.” And then he turned around and looked out the window.
 
#
 
Midway home it caught up with me and I pulled over into the entrance to an empty field. Dog gazed stoically out the window, still and calm, and I pressed my thumb into the bridge of my nose to try and take away the prickling, clung on to the skin of my chest with the nails of my other hand to melt away that old -thudding ache that came with losing a sheep, a bead of blood landing in an open eye. I cried drily, honking and with my mouth open, rocking the truck and feeling something grappling around inside me getting no closer to coming out. Have a good cry; it was the kind of thing Mum’d say to a triplet in the hope a visit to the hospital wasn’t necessary. Like the time Cleve fell out of a tree and cried it out, and we found out later he had a broken arm. But there was nothing good in my crying—it prevented me from breathing, it hurt. I stopped once my nose began to bleed, cleaned it up with the shammy I used on the days the windows were iced on the inside and drove home, calmly. On the Military Road near to the turning home, some teenagers fondled about at the bus stop. When they saw me coming one of the boys pretended to put something in his mouth, another mounted him from behind and humped him while he mimed throwing a lasso. The girls laughed and gave me the finger. As I rounded the corner the boy with the lasso dropped his trousers and showed his white arse.

#

Awards

  • WINNER | 2014
    Miles Franklin Literary Award

Author

© Urszula Soltys

EVIE WYLD’s debut novel, After the Fire, a Still Small Voice, was short-listed for the International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award and awarded the John Llewellyn Rhys Prize. Her second novel, All the Birds, Singing, won the Miles Franklin Literary Award, the Encore Award and the European Union Prize for Literature, and it was shortlisted for the Costa Book Award for Best Novel. In 2013 she was named one of Granta’s Best of Young British Novelists. Her latest novel, The Bass Rock, won the Stella Prize. She lives in London.

View titles by Evie Wyld

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