ONCE UPON A TIME IN 1989
The Berlin Wall had already fallen and the people in Eastern Eu-rope  were  celebrating  the  new  era  without  communism.  But the  news  did  not  seem  to  concern  Romanian  dictator  Nicolae Ceausescu until the last day he ever addressed his people, December 21, 1989. A close- up on camera caught him at the exact moment when he realized that the tide was turning against him, that people are no longer applauding and cheering, but booing him. His shock and the disbelief I saw in that face will stay with me forever as an iconic picture of the change.
Apparently, people rarely see the big picture or immediately understand the real meaning of events they witness. In the case of the fall of communism, the dominating feeling at the time, it seems to me,  was  surprise.  Joy  came  only  afterward,  mixed  with  a  bit  of suspicion.
Such fragmented pictures and emotions deeply deposited in our memory. The whole big earthquake, its causes and consequences, escaped  us  then  only  to  come  back  later  as  history.  Therefore  it becomes important how we remember it, if there are discrepancies and gaps, like we know it from the old times.
Indeed, a discrepancy that comes to my mind when remember-ing 1989 is the one between history and fantasy. There was a cer-tain innocent naïveté sweeping over Eastern Europe, the hope that the  fall  of  communism  would  be,  in  some  way,  a  guarantee  that we  would  live  happily  ever  after.  The  reason  I  call  it  innocent  is that we really didn’t know what to expect, but we knew what we wanted:  glitter  and  glamour,  like  on  the  other  side,  in  the  West. What else could we think of, but sheer old- fashioned magic, as in a provincial circus performance? Or in fairy tales for that matter. In our perception, what had just happened was nothing but a fairy tale, in which a poor young man, overcoming insurmountable ob-stacles put in his way by the princess’s father, wins her heart and becomes a king himself. What other concept— or, indeed, “narra-tive,” as it is called today— did we know? Democracy was a vague and distant idea, a theory never to be reached in practice. Human rights even more so. And capitalism we understood only as far as supermarkets full of incredible food and unknown trifles took us. That  was  a  reality  we  could  touch  and  smell,  consume,  buy, possess—  the  very  measure  of  our  success.  Hard  work  for  little money, poverty and jobless people were not part of that parcel.
We had no experience of the new world opening up to us; we had only dreams made of TV images, movies, rumors about freedom of expression, finely wrapped chocolates and the glowing lights of shopping windows in Vienna or Paris.
There  is  another  reason  I  think  we  were  naive:  the  belief  that such a dramatic change, the collapse of an entire political system, would go smoothly and gently, with few victims and limited conflict.  We  did  not  foresee  the  profound  changes  that  were  in  the making,  including  the  fact  that  they  were  of  two  kinds:  progres-sive, modern, liberal, tolerant— as well as the opposite. The coin had  two  sides,  on  one  democracy  and  freedom,  on  the  other  exploitation and poverty. Maybe it was simply easier to believe in the new reality and not question it, to embrace luxury more than democracy, greed more than human rights. Even if our fantasy about “Europe” and all that it meant did not last long.
Underneath the big change, a reaction to it was going on. When the earth trembles under your feet, you look for security in what you know, in what you remember, in what was there before communism collapsed.
But what was actually there to fall back on? Not much, but there were two strong pillars of collective identity: the national and the religious. Even during communism, although suppressed, national identity was preserved in language and culture. And there was re-ligion,  in  some  nations  more  important,  in  others  less.  It  was  an inseparable  part  of  national  identity,  although  expressed  more  in the form of tradition and culture than as regular religious practice. Indeed, national identity and religion came to dominate public discourse very soon after 1989— to the surprise of the people and politicians in the West, where nationalism (they believed back then!) belonged to the past and religion was considered a purely private affair. At first, it seemed to them as if the Eastern Europeans were not  only  coming  from  a  different  place,  they  were  coming  from another time too.
But that was not the only misunderstanding. The perception of our mind- set or mentality was just as problematic. It is more difficult to explain and hard to pinpoint exactly what this phenomenon is  about,  but  it  is  vital  to  understand  Eastern  Europeans  from  a psychological  point  of  view.  In  1989,  most  of  them  had  spent  a big  part  of  their  lives  under  communism.  This  experience,  common  to  all,  formed  their  values  and  perceptions,  their  habits  and expectations— in short, their worldview. It formed a specific kind of mentality— and while a political regime might be changed over-night, that mentality cannot. To alter it takes time; indeed, generations.
In  the  new  post-  communist  reality,  joy  was  soon  accompanied by a feeling of disappointment triggered by growing poverty and the  gap  between  those  who  made  a  fortune  when  state  property was  privatized  and  the  extremely  poor,  by  corruption,  and  by  a distrust of the political elite as well as of the impermeable EU bureaucracy. No doubt, there were many positive changes, of which access  to  all  sorts  of  new  products  was  the  only  one  embraced unanimously, just like in the West. Stability was replaced with the mobility of goods, businesses and people. But when you have freedom of movement but no money to travel, that freedom will in the end,  in  your  eyes,  be  devalued.  “Europe”  did  not  live  up  to  our fantasies,  because  such  fantasies  could  never  become  reality.  Instead,  it  was  accused  of  neocolonialist  exploitation,  for  creating economic injustice, for the lack of jobs and the democracy deficit or for simply not sending us enough money.
In  the  meantime,  we  learned  the  hard  way  that  we  are  not  the same kind of Europeans, that some are more European than others. Living in the periphery and coming from another time simply make  you  a  second-  class  European.  Like  laundry  detergents  or canned food in our supermarkets: the brand name is the same, but the quality is not. It feels like a slap in the face, but it is also a good metaphor: What more proof of inequality?
But if you take a look at Eastern Europe from the west side, you could see that we are unequal in something else, in pervasiveness of corruption. I found it captured beautifully in a single film from 2016, 
Graduation, by the Romanian director Cristian Mungiu. The main character, Romeo, is a medical doctor in his midforties. He belongs to a generation that believed in the transition and in principles  such  as  truth  and  decency,  that  believed  that  reality  can change if we stick to rules, if we ourselves are better people. His idealism fades away, but one hope remains: his daughter, Eliza. She was brought up with high principles, prepared to study and live in Great Britain. She gets a grant, but the fulfilment of his (not her!) dream depends on her passing the final exams. This should just be a formality for such a bright student, but on the very day when the exams  start,  Eliza  becomes  the  victim  of  attempted  rape,  which leaves  her  traumatized,  and  she  is  unable  to  perform.  Realizing that  his  daughter’s  future  is  at  stake,  Romeo  embarks  on  a  long journey  of  corruption—  something  he  fought  against  all  his  life. You can see that corruption permeates every cell of Romanian society, from the school to the police, from the ministry to the hospi-tal and the financial inspectors. Now Romeo is caught in a web and we see how corruption influences him on a very personal level— for without it there is no way for him to reach his aim.
Romania is in the EU, it is a democracy, there is capitalism— yet only on the surface. When you scratch it, the real Romania shows through  and  it  doesn’t  appear  to  be  much  different  than  it  was twenty-  five  years  ago,  when  party  membership  and  VIP  con-nections were the means of survival and the main currency of corruption.  This  goes  for  most  other  Eastern  European  societies, really. And it was my generation that couldn’t get rid of it. There is corruption  in  the  West  too,  but  there  is  a  difference  between  the individual cases of corruption in the West and corruption as a system,  the  way  society  functions  in  the  East.  This  hasn’t  changed, not even in twenty- five years. This film left me with a bitter taste of defeat. Having no hope for change is perhaps the biggest loss of the next generation. No wonder so many are depressed. Others are leaving, some 20 percent of them from Romania alone.
Donald Trump became the president of the United States, Brexit looms over the EU like a dark cloud; the politics of exclusion are becoming  mainstream,  and  nationalism  and  nativism  are  on  the rise,  together  with  razor-  wire  fences  on  the  EU’s  borders  and  a “great wall” in the United States; support for right- wing parties in France, the Netherlands and even Germany is growing and threatening  European  unity;  the  burden  of  refugees  is  not  being  fairly distributed;  the  war  in  Ukraine  and  the  Russian  annexation  of Crimea have created a feeling that Russia has yet again become a real threat to Europe. It seems that the European Union is in dan-ger  of  falling  apart,  the  member  states  being  unable  to  agree  on and  confront  a  single  important  issue.  We  see  confusion  and  feel uncertainty, but we do not get the whole picture. The changes are many and they happen fast; yesterday’s explanations are no longer valid.
Only  a  few  years  ago,  Europe  was  a  quite  different  place.  Today’s  problems  were  surely  there,  but  the  feeling  was  different, there  was  energy  in  the  air.  New  countries  wanted  to  join  the EU, there was a desire to include Ukraine at least in trading, and the EU was still promising peace and security, emanating values to aspire to and possibilities for a better life for everybody.
In my part of Europe, on one level we were trying to adapt and emulate  European  standards  and  expectations.  However,  at  the same time we built a psychological defense mechanism of collective  identity  based  on  nation  and  religion.  There  was  not  much more there with which we could confront the new situation. In the concept  of  national  identity  all  the  disappointments  with  the  EU were summed up, the frustration coming from our position in the Union, fear of globalization, fear of immigrants who appeared as new, more needy victims, ready to take our place.								
									 Copyright © 2021 by Slavenka Drakulic. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.